Blind Wife Wednesday: Eye Roll

There is a study I had heard about several years ago about eye rolling and contempt as it relates to marrital satisfaction.  The gist is, more eye rolling equals more contempt, which leads to a higher rate of marital dissatisfaction.  Part of the link involves witnessing the eye rolling.  Well, I bet you could guess, but I have never seen my husband roll his eyes at me–not sure if he ever has.  I learned about this study before I even met my husband, so I have tried my best not to roll my eyes at him–you’d have to check with him about how I’ve done. 🙂

So, I guess I’m just wondering how this plays out in my marriage. I know that we discuss issues we have thoroughly; so his the marriage more verbal? Now I am thinking through the lens of the five senses. Because one send us lost, are the others stronger? And if so, can that apply to relationships? In a marriage, where two become one, where does my blindness end and his sight begin?

I can’t answer all those questions, even for myself, right now. But, I do know our differences are settled quickly. Is this because I can’t see his eye tolls? I don’t know. But it might not hurt.

~Lindsay

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Blind Mommy Monday: Eye Contact

One of my biggest fears in having children, was my inability to make eye contact in a normal way.  THis may sound silly, considering all the dangers in our world, but think about it.  Eye contact is a very important part of our socialization, culture, and human connection.  We trust people who make eye contact.  We bond with people with whom we make eye contact.  We learn how to make appropriate and meaningful contact from our caretakers as children.

When our son was born, it weenier like everything was going to be fine. He and I bonded well. And even now he makes great eye contact, at least from what my husband says. And he is securely attached to both my husband and me.

So what went wrong? I was holding our daughter and staring at her. When I look in her eyes, it kind of looks like I’m making eye contact with her forehead. I was close enough to see that her eyes were looking up and appeared like they were mimicking what my eyes must have looked like. In that moment my heart broke. All of my fears came flooding back, with a few more thrown in for good measure. The number one being, did I ruin my son and is it too late for my daughter? As the primary caregiver for our children, they see my body language and social cues the most. So what do I do?

I asked my mom to make sure to make eye contact with the little girly. I figure, she will be getting eye contact with another female. I hope it will be enough. But if it isn’t, if you see my kids in the world and they have problems making ye contact, please cut them some slack. It’s not their fault.

~Lindsay

P.S. I realize it’s Tuesday, but at least my tardiness proves im a mom of a 2 yr old and 3 mo old.

Blind Mommy Monday: Helicopter Parent

When I am at the playground, I am often encouraged, by other parents, to let my child go and play on his own.  They don’t come out and say this so directly but convey the message in other ways.  I’ve heard “don’t worry, your child can’t get hurt on this playground,” “isn’t it nice that the kids can be independent here?” and other such well-meaning, gently phrased thoughts.  When what they really mean is, “lady chill out, let your kid have fun.  Without you being two feet away from him at all times!!!!”

This is often conveyed to me when the person who brought us to the park steps away for a moment—I can’t drive us there, lol.  I’m sure it probably looks weird.  A grown woman following closely—very closely—behind a two-year-old.  I know they have good intentions.  Mom’s have a lot of stress and relaxing while your child is entertained is a pretty good idea.  Unfortunately, I cannot.  Being within visual distance of your child is drastically reduced when you are visually impaired.

When the above situation arises, I typically try to explain in the most sensitive way possible—most people feel very badly once they realize the reason for my hovering.

It’s not easy going through the little tunnels or running from one side of the jungle gym to the other, but it can be fun—and a good workout!  I also get to experience the playground like a child again.  I get to be my child’s playmate.  My vision forces me to get up close and personal with my son’s world, and I like what I see.

~Lindsay

Blind Wife Wednesday: Target

So, this happened today. . .

I’m breastfeeding in the Target parking lot and my husband decides to take our son into the store while I finish.  I settle the little lady into the carrier, grab the keys, and lock the doors.  We do park in the handicap/accessible parking spots so I walk to the front of the car and walk in front of the cars (the safe way).

I got lucky and some one was crossing when I needed to.  I’m walking slightly to the left and cannot figure out why I’m not finding the door.  I realize, when I see the BIG Target logo on the side of the building and in the middle of the sidewalk that I completely missed the door!

My sweet husband parked directly in front of the right-hand set of doors so I could just walk right in.  I called him to see where he was in the store and had to admit what I had done.  He was awesome and didn’t make me feel stupid.

~Lindsay